twelve months

Lucy OUT.
I feel like I've pretty much exhausted all the resources I have for commiserating the sappy, emotional experience that is watching my baby turn one. In truth, I feel overwhelmed with gladness even more than I feel nostalgic, although I certainly won't deny the tears I've cried. I've said the things I hated hearing when she was a tiny little baby (wait, she was almost ten pounds at birth...she was never tiny). 

"Where did the time go?!"

"Are we really here already?"

"Babies don't keep."

It happens to the best of us. I just hope I can stop myself before I say it to an unsuspecting new mommy one day while we're standing in line at the grocery store. I was successful at the doctor's office yesterday, so there's that.

I suppose I should skip the novel since I've already written so many of them about Lucy and just say this has been a wonderful, awkward, messy, fearful, stretching, growing, refining year. One of the best ever. And I'm glad it's over. I feel like I have some confidence and gumption under my belt now. I don't know it all, but I know something. And something is a lot more than nothing. So I move forward into my second year as a mother (technically my third year, but for the first I was gestating so, really, I can only claim excellence at being a living human) and I do it with the relief that we all survived. We made it through and we are the happier for it. Our faith got a bit bigger. Our tear ducts made themselves useful. And mama got herself a few more smile lines. 

Now, onto the milestones!

Height: 29 inches

Weight: 24 pounds

Mobility: A full-blown walker baby, baby. Starting to climb (eek!).

Food: Transitioning now from formula to whole milk. Seems to be going okay, so far, but our pediatrician informed us she's still getting too much and we need to trim it back to about 16 oz. a day. She eats three meals a day, plus a snack or two of veggie sticks or cheerios, but we almost always give her some kind of bottle with them or as a replacement meal. Our goal is to have her down to one bottle when she wakes up and one at night before bed within a few weeks. She eats pretty much anything, so at least that's not a concern. I'm going to make a meal plan for her soon ("You have a plan to make a plan?" Name that movie!).

Sleeping: Through the night, with occasional wake-up calls for a diaper change or bottle. Naps twice a day for about 1-2 hours.

Favorites: Eating, sleeping, playing, music, "reading" her books, climbing up onto and rocking her little chair, general silliness, being in new places, babbling to strangers and pointing at them, learning new words (she giggles a lot when we practice them together)

Dislikes: Not getting fed fast enough, missing naps, being dropped off with new people (like Sunday school), being stopped in the car for two long (red lights, grr), loud noises, shots, sitting on the paper at the doctor's office (see below)

Can Sign: All done, more, milk, please (makes my heart burst every time!), her own little version of mama, and food

Can Say: Mama, Dada, dog ("dah!"), cat ("kah!"), uh-oh, duck (duh!"), all done ("ah duh!") and a few others I can't remember

Can Point Out: Dog, cat, favorite toys, her head, her ears, and her toes

Lucy Turns One + A Video

Have you ever looked around at your life and just thought, "This is it. This. Is. It!" I had one of those moments on Saturday during baby girl's first birthday party. I was sitting on the living room floor with Pierce and Lucy, surrounded by family and friends, opening her gifts, and I could have just cried. I've never been someone who throws good parties. I wish I had that skill, I really do. I'm crafty and I'm friendly, but I'm not a skilled hostess. I would rather invite you over, let you rummage through my pantry, and give you a blanket so you could cuddle up on the couch in your sweats. That's my jam, right there. But on Saturday everything came together beautifully and, without a doubt, it all comes down to the big, fat, beautiful love we all share for Lucy Jane. It turns out she's been the missing piece to so much in our lives. 

It was one of the best days I can remember. Thank you, with all of my heart, to everyone who came to celebrate our girl. Thank you for your time, your hugs, your excitement, your gifts, and your love. You guys are my people.

Also, a big thanks to Kati, our unofficial family photographer, and to Cassi, for capturing such sweet moments. Love you guys.

Finally, here's the video I put together for Lucy's first year. I totally didn't cry the whole time, either. Not at all.


It's so strange that this day has finally arrived.

Kati, you were such a surprise, in so many different ways.

I was the youngest. I didn't want a younger sibling. And, yet, there you were, all red-faced and smooshy-nosed and needing all kinds of things I didn't understand as an eleven year old.

I rocked you to sleep in mom and dad's bedroom, cradling you awkwardly in two long, gangly arms and whispering "Shush, shush, Kati" over and over. You cried, I cried. It was all very "Circle of Life" and I wondered why in the world anyone ever had children. Now I know.

My favorite memories of us are driving around town in my Camaro together, eating Wendy's french fries and talking about things that were far beyond your years, and probably mine, too. I grew up as I watched you grow up and, now, the eleven years that separate us don't seem so far apart.

You got all the good stuff, kid: Beth's heart, Tommy's humor, my faith. You are the best of all of us. It's been some of the best years of my life, being your sister.

And that very early morning I left for college, when you fell asleep holding a picture of us together at Disney World? It makes total sense now. Someone get me that photo, stat.

Happy birthday Kati Bug. I love you.

catching up and taking stock

Hello friends!

Been seeing a lot of these lists lately on blogs I love, and since my only original ideas are the ones I use for book writing, well, here we are. 

 plans for Lucy's birthday next week (!)
drinking: an iced caramel coffee...I'm the person who still loves iced drinks even in 30 degree weather
wanting: a hairstylist
watching: Gilmore Girls (almost done with season six!)
listening: lately it's been nothing but those 1989 jams
eating: cinnamon oatmeal with apples and raisins
smelling: pumpkin candles and coffee brewing
wishing: for peace
enjoying: every new milestone with Lucy and time with dear friends
loving: my husband and teeny tiny baby topknots
hoping: for a slow holiday always speeds by too quickly
needing: wisdom and patience
feeling: happy and full of excitement for all the good things to come
wearing: gray tights, a white tee, wool socks, and a big, cozy sweater
bookmarking: this last week of Lucy's first year (cue the leaky faucet)

What are you taking stock of these days?