11 Months


Clearly, Lucy is not a fan of the monthly photos anymore.

Here are some quick updates on our girl, as well as a post I never meant to write, but couldn't help.

Food: Lucy eats well; not much has changed there. We're trying to wean her off the bottle by introducing the sippy cup. She's not having it. I've had glimpses of her teenage self during this period of transition. She's rather talented at throwing things in protest.

Milestones: Baby girl is chatting up a storm these days. She still babbles most of the time, but it's becoming more consistent with her experiences, such as pointing and "asking" something in an inquisitive tone of voice. She can say "mama", "dada", "gah" or "dah" (both of these mean dog), "ki ka" (kitty cat), "neh ka" (necklace), "ah dah" (all done), "baba (bottle), and, her absolute favorite, "uh oh" which she likes to use whenever she purposefully drops something. Also, Lucy can sign "milk" and "bottle" (which can basically be used interchangeably), "mama", "please", "all done", "food" and "eat (again, used interchangeably), and "more". It's so fun to watch her learn language skills and see how quickly she picks everything up!

Lucy is also taking a few steps on her own. She can stand easily without support and move, but she usually gets so excited about walking that she'll start waving her arms and fall over. It's adorable. Full-fledge walking is coming soon...

Teeth: 6 (four on top, two on bottom)

Height/Weight: At her last appointment a month ago, Lucy weighed 22 pounds and was 28.5 inches long. She is already growing out of some of her 12 month clothing and wearing 18 month sizes.

Favorites: Mama, daddy, family and friends, being in new places, watching people, eating, playing, reading, sleeping, putting every. single. thing. in her mouth, bath time, Lamby (her stuffed lamb), being outdoors, sweet flavors, making music, dancing, and singing (she is starting to imitate melodies...and it kills me every time!)

Dislikes: Being in the car for too long, missing naps, playing alone in her crib for longer than five minutes, having her teeth brushed, having her face wiped, loud noises

***

One more month. That's all. And then baby Lucy won't be a baby anymore. She's already moving so quickly away from that particular category that it make me feel sort of panicked. And also sort of relieved. Sometimes I still can't believe we made it through the first month. Lucy was (is) such a sweet, easy-going child, but the emotions...oh, the emotions. The anxiety. The crippling fear that somehow I was going to end up breaking her and myself in the process. But that fear, although not completely gone, has slipped quietly under the bed of truth I now rest on and it only comes out in the dark moments, when the light isn't keeping it hidden and just as frightened of failing as the rest of us. That's all fear really is, I've decided. Insecure. Hoping to be noticed. Wanting to succeed. But it never will because it can't really. It's not real. Thank God for that.

As we get well into this new season, I've discovered a peace that certainly surpasses all understanding. Things aren't always easy, but that's what makes this peace so rich. So encompassing, like a favorite sweater, or a cup of coffee, during a winter storm. And having this peace, experiencing all these wonderful new joys during my favorite time of year, has given me a more intimate look at my Jesus, how He loves to love us. When I watch Lucy sleep, I feel what it must be like for our heavenly Father: the deep, burning desire to give her all the good things in the world. The hope that she will come to know and love her Savior, and that His love will pour out of her into everyone she meets. I see flashes of her future - talkative and curious at age four, gentle and imaginative at age seven, awkward and angsty at age thirteen, independent and headstrong at seventeen - and pray that she will come through every stage knowing a little bit more about how much we love her. And, yes, I pray that she will love me back. Because I might be an adult but being a mother makes me needy for love in ways I've never been before. I have felt it in the way it's meant to be felt: fully, unconditionally, down to the marrow of my bones. And there's no coming back from that.

I love you, Lucy darling. That's all there is to say.


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