So the book in this picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post, except for the fact that the title kind of fits with where I'm at today. And where I'll be tomorrow.
You guys, I'm quitting. I'm quitting with the crap that fills up my life and my stomach and my mind and I'm starting over. Fresh. Renewed. Refilled.
I've been dead to true goodness for a long time. I've allowed these long-lasting seasons of anxiety to infect my entire life and lead me to other bad habits, one of those being the way I eat.
Sugar tastes good. Okay, it tastes amazing. And I'm utterly addicted to it.
MSGs taste good, too. And so do preservatives. And partially hydrogenated oils. But man, oh man, do they make me feel like crap. Useless. Dried up. And in two hours I'm craving them more.
It's the same story with my money, my time, and my thoughts.
I want more and more. And then I waste it all on junk. Just like an addict.
I feel so tired of it, you guys. So tired of filling myself up with things, things that aren't bad on their own, but have become crutches for me to avoid filling myself up with God. With real food. With the Word.
I so long for a new spirit. For a new mind. For a new body.
I long for a new life.
I've spent a lot of time missing my "better" days. The college days. The early marriage days. When life was simple and my confidence soared. But the truth is that the seeds of insecurity and fear were planted long before those days and I had no idea they were growing like weeds inside my heart. Until one day they burst through the soil and took over all the places I treasured most.
So I quit. Enough is enough.
There is no magic day to make changes. Every moment is an opportunity to change. But I wanted to prepare myself for the all-or-nothing transformation I have decided to undergo, so I put a date on it.
May 1st, 2014.
Tomorrow I'm giving up refined and processed sugars. Tomorrow I stop eating ingredients I can't pronounce (unless they're in French because, hello). Tomorrow I get up early to spend time in the Word. Time with God. REAL time. Conversation. Intimacy. And coffee, of course.
For months I've been praying for answers to my questions and worries. I've been searching my heart and the hearts of others to get some peace about what I feel. And the only answer that keeps coming back to me is more of God. More of His creation. More of what's real...in EVERY way.
If you would, I'd like to ask you to pray for me. Giving up sugar and processed foods + being diligent about my time with the Lord are not going to be easy things. Not at all. But I am excited. So excited!
Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go finish my Zaxby's chicken fingers.