four months

Here we are again. Another month gone by. Another day I spend wondering how my child is growing so fast and where did the time go? and all those things that mothers think about.

At four months old, Lucy Jane is smiling allllll day, still sleeping through the night, and having fun discovering her toes each morning. She really is the happiest baby I've ever seen. My grandmother told me last week that both my father and I were like that, so I guess it runs in the family. 

Lucy also likes to giggle, but she keeps them wrapped up in huge, cheek-fattening smiles until they just barely break through the surface. We haven't had another laugh like the first one, but that's okay. It makes them all the more special when they do come around.

We've started marking Lucy's height on the trim around her nursery door and she currently stands (when we hold her) about 24 inches tall and weighs close to 13 pounds. I'm still nursing in the morning and evening and I just picked up a very generous donation of breast milk from a sweet friend of mine whose supply is more abundant than my own. I'm proud of myself for sticking with breastfeeding even though Lucy is also drinking formula. It would be so easy to give in and just let her have formula exclusively, but I know the "breast is best" and it's important for me to let her have it as long as I possibly can. Pumping sucks (can I get an "amen"?) but it certainly helps keep my supply consistent. The extra bit of breast milk I got from my friend (who is very healthy and donates her milk to banks on a regular basis) will help keep us on course until Lucy reaches six months of age. That was my minimum goal for nursing, but I think I'll just keep going until the time is right to wean her. It shouldn't be too hard since she's been a dream baby about switching from bottle to breast thus far, but I've enjoyed the experience and I'm not quite ready to give it up just yet. There is nothing as sweet as being able to nourish your child yourself. It's not easy, but the benefits far outweigh the frustrations that come along with it. It's also helpful to have a husband who encourages and supports me. I don't what I would do without him. 

But my favorite part about being a mom, without a doubt, is how Lucy responds when she hears my voice. When I come into the room, she looks for me. When I leave the room, she watches me go and starts to fuss if I don't come back soon. I know it won't always be like that. I remember what it was like to hear my mother's voice and think it sounded like nails on a chalkboard (sorry, Mom!). But that won't last forever either. Once she's a bit more grown up and creating a life for herself outside our home, she'll need her mother again. And I'll always be here, just like I am now.

Happy four month birthday, Lucy girl! You are the sweetest part of our lives.

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