born in God's thought.


Last night (or early this morning), as I was perusing Pinterest just before bed, I came across this quote from C.S. Lewis (one of my favorites):

"I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been thought about, born in God's thought, and then made by God is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking."

I love how C.S. Lewis was both an empiricist and a romantic. He was rational and emotional. He talked and wrote his way through things but never stopped letting himself feel. I'm a lot like that. 

And this week I'm definitely experiencing some powerful "feels". 

I'm thirty-eight weeks and one day pregnant. Our house is ready, I've pre-registered at the hospital, our bags are almost packed, and I've currently got two veggie lasagnas cooking in the oven so I can freeze them for after Lucy arrives.

On the outside, I am totally ready for our baby. But my heart and my mind are still tumbling about in this place - in this exciting and distressing mixture - of fear, love, anxiety, impatience, and wonder. 

People like to ask mamas-to-be a lot of silly questions. This week it's been, "Are you having twins?" which I could go my whole life without hearing ever again (don't ever ask a pregnant woman that!). Another popular one is. "Are you ready?"

Well, hell no. I'm not. 

But I smile and say the thing they want to hear, which usually sounds something like this, "Yes, we're very excited! It's going to be a big change, but we can't wait to meet her!"

And that's absolutely true. But it's only part of the truth.

I'm ready to meet my girl for a number of reasons. But mostly because I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of wondering. I want to know her. I want to know if I'm going to be any good at this. I don't have a choice, of course, because no one else is going to be her mother and it's not like I can give her back. So I'm ready to prove to myself that I can do this and do it well. 

When I read that quote last night, I felt a deep, humbling gratitude to God for what He has given us. And I was reminded of my own value...not just as a mother or a woman...but as a child of God. 

The idea that my heavenly Father took the time to think of me - and then to go on and find me so incredibly valuable as to actually create me - is overwhelming. We don't think of ourselves like this much. As Christians, we do a lot of talking about being made in God's image and referring to Him as our Creator...but how often do we sit and soak up this beautiful truth? 

My God, the ultimate Artist, decided I was a creation worth making. Then He went even further and decided that Lucy was, too. And somewhere between my birth and nine months ago, He chose to put the two of us together. 

I can do this. Not because I'm any good or because I have some otherworldly knowledge that millions of other mothers don't. But because I was born in God's thought. We all were. And that, more than anything we can think of, makes us worthy.

We've got a full-term baby over here!

Today, I am thirty-seven weeks pregnant, which means that Lucy is officially full-term and can come whenever she darn well pleases. I can't believe we're finally here! Of course, now begins the waiting period...and I can't decide if I want it to speed up or slow down.

For the last week or so, every time Pierce and I have had any time to ourselves I've thought, "Is this the last time we'll go out to eat just the two of us? Will this be our last night as just husband and wife? Is that pain a contraction?" I'm so excited I can hardly sit still (an exaggeration, I promise, considering the fact that I actually have a very difficult time moving around) and so is Pierce. Each morning when he leaves for work, he kisses me and then leans down to kiss my belly. It's my favorite of all our little routines and, soon, he'll be kissing our baby.

Our baby. Our daughter

We are going to be parents.

I really don't have any words at this point in my pregnancy. I've spent so much time thinking about the "what-ifs" that now I'm just ready for Lucy to be here. Even though I'm not really ready, you know? But all the questions I have come from not the sooner I can know the sooner I'll stop worrying. At least about those things anyway...

Lucy girl, we're as ready as we'll ever be! And we can't wait to snuggle up with you and kiss on that cute little nose. Come on out whenever you feel like it. We'll be here with open arms.

A few updates:

Baby Lucy: This girl moves like a break dancer! Sources keep telling me that she will slow down as I progress because there is less amniotic fluid for her to move in. But she is defying those odds, I promise. Not only is she NOT slowing down, she seems to be speeding up! But, then again, I have been drinking a lot of sweet tea lately...

Mama: Difficulty staying asleep because pretty much every position gets uncomfortable quickly. Pelvic pain is worse than ever, but no surprise there. I can feel Lucy literally bumping against my pelvic floor, which is both a strange and slightly painful feeling. It's kind of like she's going to fall out...and since she dropped last week, I suppose that description is not too inaccurate.It's also pretty funny to see me try and get up off the couch on my own these days. I kind of can't wait until I have my mobility back! But, all in all, I feel as good as can be expected at full-term. I've been staying busy with work and friends and I'm enjoying the still growing belly :).

Also, my belly button is trying really hard to pop, but it just can't seem to get there. If it does, I'm going to have to snap a pic before it goes away again!

Classes: We took our breastfeeding class a few weeks ago and it was a HUGE help! I learned so much about how to get baby to latch properly, so I feel more confident about getting to experience that bonding time with little Lucy. 

Appointments: We are meeting the midwife once a week from now on until I deliver. I had my Group B Strep test last week. Yeah...that was fun. But it was negative so praise God for that! Lucy is, as always, head down and ready to go. So come on out, baby!

Weight Gain: 28 pounds as of my last appointment. My midwife said Lucy is probably weighing in around 6 pounds right now. I was 7.7 when I was born, as was Pierce, so I'm guessing she'll be pretty close to that, as well.

Happy Bump Day to you guys! 

Nursery Tour

So last week the hubs and I finally finished Lucy's nursery! It was a huge milestone for us in terms of preparing for Lucy because it allowed us to put away all her wonderful gifts, hang up pictures I've had sitting around for months, get her bassinet set up in our bedroom, and finally just get organized. There are still a few things here and there to get set up, like the dresser my dad is building for her and the slipcover for my nursing chair, but none of those things are crucial for her arrival. And can I just say that when we stopped to look around the room we realized that we bought almost none of the things we have for Lucy? We are so, so blessed. Truly.

What I love most about her nursery is that everything has a story. Every picture, every knick-knack, every book. Some of them I found at Goodwill early in my pregnancy when I was still dreaming about what seemed like the far-distant day our baby would arrive. Some are gifts from friends and family. And some are personal items passed on to us. I can't wait to share these stories with our little girl.

Lucy, darling, we are ready for you!

Double Click: A Review

Happy Friday!

Two years ago, I had the chance to review Lisa Becker's quirky romance Click: An Online Love Story and it was one of the most fun love stories I've read. So when Lisa approached me this year and asked if I'd like to review Double Click, the sequel to her fabulous novel, I jumped at the chance. And, seriously...look at that cover. If I judged books only by how they looked, I would give this one five stars every time!

I can't wait to share my thoughts with you on this hilarious let's get started!

Double Click: A Summary

Fans of the romantic hit Click: An Online Love Story will enjoy another voyeuristic dive into the lives of Renee, Shelley, Ashley, Mark and Ethan, as Double Click picks up with their lives six months later. Are Renee and Ethan soul mates? Does Mark evergo on a date? Has Shelley run out of sexual conquests in Los Angeles? Will Ashley's judgmental nature sabotage her budding relationship? Through a marriage proposal, wedding, new baby and unexpected love twist, Double Click answers these questions and more. Readers will continue to cheer, laugh, cry and cringe following the email exploits of Renee and friends.

Double Click: What I Think

What I love about this story, and about Lisa's writing in general, is that she knows how to guide her readers into the action without making them (or, in this case, me) feel like they're being forced to go there. I believe in the relationships between her main characters - between Renee and Shelley in particular - and I share their emotions. And the format in which Lisa gives us their stories - by way of emails and personal correspondence - gives the story a bit of an edge. By that I mean it allows us to be inside the personal dynamics of these relationships as if we are a part of them ourselves.

Although we can't necessarily go into each character's mind, we still see from the outside what they're doing and begin to know enough about them to understand why. And, most importantly, we begin to care why which, in my opinion, is the only reason I ever keep reading a book. 

In Double Click, we're not hearing things from only one side. And that's just the way I like it.

Want to know more about Double Click? Check out Lisa's official Facebook page here or visit Amazon to get your own copy! 

And thank you, Lisa, for sharing your book with me once again. I look forward to more wonderful stories from you!

books for baby

Two weeks ago, a dear friend of mine from college hosted the cutest little baby shower I think I've ever seen. The theme was books...books, books, and more books! Even the food was book-themed: Streganona pasta, The Very Hungry Caterpillar fruit cups, Cloudy with a Chance of Sausage-and-Cheese-Balls, and even some mini chocolate moon pies to take home (because, hello...Goodnight Moon?). It was seriously adorable. Melissa is a girl after my own heart. And she also just also happens to be a fantastic baker, so her homemade butter cream cupcakes deserve a medal or something. YUM.

I couldn't ask for better friends, you guys. Thank you, Melissa, for taking so much time out of your own busy (and pregnant!) schedule to host this beautiful shower and celebrate Lucy with me. You are one of a kind and I love you dearly, my friend. 

Also, I can't wait for our little ones to watch GSU games together ;).

P.S. I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow. Lucy's coming soon!