7.26.2010

Trying to Listen

Wow, I'm really starting to suck at this.

I've noticed that I get really excited about something very quickly and, then, in a few weeks, months, or whatever, I lose interest. Not totally, you see, but that earnest devotion fades to complacency punctuated by a series of sudden reminders that, hey, I once felt really passionate about that...didn't I?

That is my spirituality, my time with the Lord, my attitude about work, cleaning, and writing...and all of those are things that deserve my full attention. I think the only things I give the necessary time to are friendships and my husband. But the Lord is my all...so why does He consistently come in second, third, or fourth? Why does my writing get put on the back burner because I can't seem to pick my up my computer for an hour or two everyday? Isn't writing what I want to do with my life? Don't I want to see my name, my novel, on the NY Times Bestseller List? My book isn't going to write itself...

I am trying to listen to the Lord, and His Spirit within me. I've been putting my clothes away and wiping down the counters. I've been writing every single day for the last two weeks and both my novel and the Mayfield book are in the home stretch. I watched a LiveStream of Grace Midtown's evening worship service last night and read my two daily Bible readings. This morning I set my alarm, got up with my coffee, and read the two for today. I'm following through and I feel so proud of myself. My goal for today is to show a humble attitude to others, even if they get on my nerves or ask silly questions. I'm at this job because the Lord saw fit to bless me with it...shouldn't I treat it as such?

On top of all of this listening, I feel the need to pray about some family stuff right now. I pray that this situation will end up being a blessing, and that it will open this person's heart to all that has been given to her. I pray that it will make next weekend more fun, rather than a time to be clouded over with anger or frustration. I pray, Lord, that you will give us all wisdom. I ask that you protect us and lead us in the right way...I pray all of these things with the knowledge that you are working behind the scenes and I must trust that you have our best interests at heart.

So, I'm going to drink my sweet tea and get to writing.

I promise not to wait another month before I write again.

Love, Wendi